Evolution

At last-- the One Night Stand is being phased out for the woeful demands that it makes on our time and living arrangements. Let us welcome in a new, and far more efficient model.

Let me help to introduce you to this more evolved love form through the popular song "Love in This Club Remix Part Two," as sung by Usher, and featuring Beyonce and L'il Wayne. I've enclosed the lyrics and a link to the video on YouTube for your reference.

A synopsis:

Setting: A nightclub

The male protagonist (the part of whom is sung by Usher) is in a night club and sees a woman (sung by Beyonce) whom he fees compelled to approach.

Usher: "Now baby girl there ain't nothing more that I can say. You know by now I want it more than anything. If I walk away and just let you leave, you'll be stuck in my head like a melody."

Our female lead character senses his desire, but reminds him that they are both in committed relationships.

Beyonce: "I know you want it, yeah, I'm hesitating. Why? You must be crazy, I got a man, you got a lady."

Usher persists, reasoning that it there are larger forces at work that brought them both together this evening.

Usher: "I know we here together, so this must be something special. Cause, you could be anywhere you wanna, but you decided to be here with me. No coincidence, it was meant to be. Don't be shy, gon' let ya boy in...In this club, in this club, ladies can I put this love up on you one time, if you ain't scared, say wassup. In this club, in this club, they can keep watching, I'm not stoppin, Baby, I don't give up...Imma make you feel insane."

Beyonce is swayed this romantic overture. Usher sensitively intuited the potential shyness and fear she could feel in the situation. He also impressed her with his spirited perseverance and promises of pleasure. She finds her resistance to his charms weakening and begins to analyze the logistics of their tryst.

Beyonce: "Baby, you know I'd be down, but we can't have all these people staring, standin' around. This right here is only for your eyes to see. But you are getting carried away saying we can do it wherever...I strongly doubt this velvet rope would hold me up, and I don't want security rollin' up on us... I'm not hesitating, I just don't wanna rush."

Helpful third party, L'il Wayne, offers encouragement to the young lovers.

L'il Wayne: "I said we could do it like a stack, I mean we could do it like a G, on the couch in V.I.P. Shorty, we can get it on... Meet me in the bathroom and you could be my secret lover girl. It started with a hug, but now we makin' love in this club and we're not going to stop just because the people in the crowd are watching us."

Usher reassures Beyonce of his discretion as a lover and urges her to remain open to the possibilities before them.

Usher: "Come a little closer, let daddy put it on ya. Need you to know, what happens here, stays here. Ain't nobody watching, don't worry they can't see us. I know I got you hot now let me in."

Beyonce, at last, surrenders to Usher's advances, with only the proviso that Usher make an attempt to conceal his excitement.

Beyonce: "And I'm ready and willing...but you're standing at attention, keep it on the low."

And it's as easy as that. No more rushing in to tidy your apartment ahead of the person you're bringing home for the night. In fact, no more need to actually have an apartment! With this new model for loving, people can embrace the squalor of their under-furnished bachelor apartments (or perhaps just never leave the comfortable nest of their parents' home!) and still lead active and fulfilling sex lives.

Best yet--there is no threat of seeing and/or talking with your new lover in the harsh light of morning. You can now just see them into a cab, never leaving the forgiving lights of strobes, street lamps and the moon.

I see this song taking on both a prescriptive and anthem-like role in clubs around the world. I also see someone, somewhere inventing disposable latex sheaths for velvet ropes.

The Video

The Lyrics